If only you could see
by sherwoodKitten
Summary: Story of Robin and Marian. After betraying him can Marian ever earn Robin's trust again.


Disclaimer-I do not own Robin Hood.

Marian woke to find the sun shining in her eyes. Robin still slumbered next to her, one arm thrown across her body, curled closetrying to keep warm. The trees outside the cave had already started turning golden, the bite to the morning air signalling that it would soon be time to find shelter for the cold months. Marian shivered drawing the blanket over them, trying not to wake her lover.

Robin stirred; gazing blearily up at her he smiled trailing his fingers down her body making her tremble with desire.

"How did I ever manage without you," he murmured. She kissed him in reply moving closer to him, hooking her leg over his. Robin ran his hands under her clothes. Marian shivered slightly feeling the cold against her bare skin. Drawing him closer she drank in his warmth. Luxuriating in blissful sensations knowing that it would be brief. These few minutes in the morning were theirs alone and often spent in frenzied lovemaking losing themselves in each other before they had to attend to their duties and responsibilities.

"Robin?" Apparently today was not one of those days. Marian groaned, echoing her lover.

"What is it John?" Robin said.

"You need to come and talk to Will, there's something you have to know." Little John sounded worried.

"We'll be out in a minute." Robin leaned over to kiss Marian. Rolling his eyes at John's insistence.

"No. it's _you_ we need to talk to, not Marian." The awkward note in John's tone increased. "Please Robin."

The outlaw leader looked down at his lover pausing, his eyes narrowing in confusion. With an empty feeling in the pit of her stomach, that had nothing to do with hunger as it so often was, Marian flung her arms around Robin kissing him passionately wondering if this would be the last time she could do this. She watched him leave the cave pulling his cloak from the bed wrapping it around his slim shoulders. She thought with regret about the life he had to lead how her opinion had changed in the last couple of months,about how much she had changed all through knowing one skinny outlaw; the son of a forester.

"Hopefully this won't take long," he called back to her.

Marian sighed, there was no point staying in bed, there was work to be done; food to be gathered for the winter months, the supply cupboard to be checked over, an inventory to be taken. She tidied away their bed, turning over the bracken and neatly folding the furs. Completing the task took moments a long practised skill, one that only months ago she scorned and had continually left for someone else to do, thinking that menial tasks were below her. Marian moved to stand at the opening to the cave pulling her cloak tightly around her, feeling the rough homespun against her bare flesh.

The outlaw camp sprawled before her; a group of new recruits were practising archery. They needed all the practice they could get Marian thought, smiling wryly at their incompetence knowing that in a few weeks Will and Robin would have them hitting the bullseye nine times out of ten, it was that or master another weapon. Robin insisted that everyone in his band could defend themselves.

A short distance away Meg was stirring the stew pot; by the size of the crowd gathered around her it was nearly ready, the smell drifting across the camp.

Marian's attention was drawn to shouting down by the river, her view was blocked by the the dense foliage and the crowd at the stew pot. It sounded as though the argument was coming in her direction. Marian thought that she could hear Robin's voice over all the rest. That was very much like him, she thought tenderly, he aimed to keep the peace and was keen to let every man have his opinion but he tended to get carried away at times, especially when Will Scarlet was around. The two men were firm friends but they hardly ever managed to agree; their natures like chalk and cheese. Marian and John spent a lot of time mediating between the two, ensuring that they both compromised on a plan, and that it suited both of their natures.

The crowd at the stew pot stared in the direction of the shouting then parted to let their angry leader and his lieutenants through. It was then that she realised what they were saying:

"I told you we shouldn't trust her." That was Will, angrier than she had ever seen him, trying to keep from spitting. And he was making his way towards her.

"Robin please, you have to believe us. She's been sending messages for months." Will said.

Marian went cold, this time it had nothing to do with the chill air. She glanced around wanting to run. It was too late to think about escaping, she had to stay and try to explain to make robin believe her. Her lips dried, she clenched her fists as the crowd reached her.

"Let her explain." Robin threw several letters at her feet. "Please explain these milady." Icicles hung from his words. Marian looked round at the outlaws gathered around her, expressions varied from confused to bitter hatred. Taking a deep breath she began to speak knowing that there would be no mercy shown to her.

"It's true. I am a spy sent by the Sheriff." She couldn't bear to look at Robin, she kept her gaze fixed upon the great oak in the centre of the camp. She could still feel him crumpling inside, staring in disbelief at her. Not wanting to believe her confession.

"But the letters are old. I haven't sent him any information for the last couple of months." There was no point in defending herself, none at all, one brief glance at Will's face told her that. But Marian desperately needed to explain to Robin _why_.

"Then why did you meet one of his foresters in the Black Rooster tavern yesterday." Will was furious. Little John had to restrain him from attacking the slim girl who stood in front of the camp calmly admitting that she had betrayed them all. Her hands clasped in front of her she stood almost proudly. Which of course incensed Will even more.

"What were you doing in there except giving the Sheriff more information about us?" He spat.

"I wanted to tell him that I wouldn't be sending him any more messages, that I didn't want to spy for him any more." Marian's gaze finally fell on Robin. "I did it because I love you."Willing him to understand. Hoping that he would believe her and at the same time knowing that he would not. There was nothing she could do as all the accusations were true.

"She's a traitor, the worst kind, and to think we let her into the camp." Will struggled against John's firm grip. "Let me go John. Or I wont be responsible for my actions."

The large shepherd-turned-outlaw released Will, his eyes troubled, he like many, had believed that Marian was who she claimed to be, and yet in doing so had failed his leader.

"Liar." Robin snarled flinging the word at her. Something inside Marian cracked. "Take that betraying bitch away from me. I never want to see her ever again."

"My pleasure." Will seized her arms roughly pinning them behind her back, binding them tightly, the rope cut into her flesh, a gasp of pain escaped her lips but Will ignored it. He manhandled her across to a pole at the edge of the camp, when she tripped falling face down in the dirt he hauled her to her feet and dragged her the rest of the way. He kicked her so she collapsed onto her knees and bound her to the pole. Competently and quickly he checked all the knots making sure she couldn't get free.

Peering out through her curtain of long chestnut hair Marian saw Will spit on her then stride away back to the others -where she would be if she had been more careful. She spat out the wet mud and tired to ignore the taste in her mouth. Marian wished she hadn't agreed to the Sheriff's stupid plan. But then she would have never met Robin. But then she would never have hurt him.

Tears formed in her eyes rolling down her now grimy cheeks. It had seemed like an interesting if dangerous plan that the Sheriff had outlined to her in the comfort of his personal quarters, her father and Lord Guy of Guisborne looking on expectantly. All she had to do was to infiltrate the outlaws camp and send the Sheriff details of which persons the outlaws would ambush next. The number of attacks that the Sheriff and his men stopped would increase; the peasants would be less willing to help the outlaws if they received no money, if the Sheriff was successful in spreading rumours that Robin and his band were keeping the money to themselves their popularity with the common people would decrease and the Sheriff would ambush the outlaws in their own camp, capturing them all in one swift attack and they would all be hung as wolfsheads, the outlaws would be so unpopular by then that there would be no uprising. The Sheriff would be a hero, Marian's father would become a very rich man and Marian would have a dowry worthy of a princess.

It seemed simple enough. She could fool a group of stupid peasants into believing that she was one of them. Marian was a noblewoman, what were a delusional group of peasants to her. The idea appealed to the free spirited girl. Often too rebellious for her father to handle as a child she had run wild in the forest. She had managed to get one of her father's fletcher's to teach her to shoot until her father had found out. Marian had no doubt that she could fool them.

Except it hadn't worked like that. Once she had joined the band Marian had discovered a growing admiration for the outlaws, eventually falling in love with their leader; the now infamous Robin Hood. She had refused to tell the Sheriff the location of the camp, attempting to stall him, then finding herself loath to give him even the smallest details of the next venture. She had agreed to meet Guy in the Black Rooster only to tell him that she would have no part in the scheme any more. He had come across her in a small village several days ago while she and Much were distributing coin to the inhabitants, she had only agreed to get rid of him as the pompous knight would have spoiled her cover.

If only she had realised her true feelings earlier, if only she hadn't agreed to meet Guy. Will had always been suspicious of her, he was Robin's best friend and had appointed himself Robin's protector. Hardly ever letting their fearless leader out of his sight.

She should have realised that he would follow her but she had been lax thinking that she was almost free from the two men who had tried to control her life, thinking about Robin.

Marian jerked back to the present, what was the point dwelling upon it now. She had brought it on herself. Who would ever have thought that a noblewoman, a Norman who could recite her ancestors back for over eight generations, would have fallen for the wolfshead Robin Hood. A peasant. One who now had complete control over her future. How long that would be she had no idea. With a certain detachment she wondered what they would do to her. She hoped it wouldn't hurt for too long. Maybe she deserved it, thinking of the expression on Robin's face, that alone was enough to break her heart. Nothing would ever wipe that expression from her memory.

The pain rose up in her chest choking her. It was greater than the pain in her arms and ankles where the rope bit deeply into her skin. There was a numbness in her limbs creeping into her mind. It was better than the pain. Anything was better than thinking about what she had done to Robin.

He had believed in her, had taught her how to use a sword, welcomed her to the band, when a faction headed by Will Scarlet firmly believed that there was something behind her seemingly innocent request to join the their group . He had done everything in his power to discover what it was. Stupidly she had played into his hands. Marian sighed shakily, trying to keep back tears.

All that day, Marian could hear furious shouting, no doubt Will deciding what he wanted to do with her. She couldn't discern Robin's voice from among the clamour, maybe he had left the decision to his second in command, wanting nothing more to do with her.

Marian didn't blame him. The physical pain had settled to a dull ache but nothing could get rid of the other pain. She flirted with imaginary scenarios where Robin suddenly realised that she was telling the truth that she did love him and forgave her, holding her in his arms once more. After a while even those began to cause her pain. It was never going to happen.

How could she have been so stupid.

- - - - -

Dusk had fallen and night was setting in when someone made their way towards the prisoner at the edge of the camp, watched by two sentries who were of the same opinion as Scarlet. They watched for any chance to punish her for betraying the band and most of all their beloved leader, but the captive never moved.

The renegade Friar Tuck stood before Marian with a cup of water clutched in his pudgy hands.

"Marian." he said gently. She raised her head slowly.

"I'm sorry but it's all they'd let me bring." He put the cup to her lips and helped her to drink it. Thirsty she gulped it down, regretting every drop that crawled down her chin.

"Thank you." She said quietly when she had finished, her eyes downcast. "Can you tell me what is happening please." Marian tried not to beg, desperate to hear news of Robin, wanting to know that he was fine and not on some foolish suicidal escapade.

"They haven't decided what to do with you yet. Robin has sat in one of the caves all day unmoving, he's refused all food. Scarlet has been alternately calling for your head and wanting to bargain with the Sheriff."

"Thank you Friar."

"My child, what caused you to do this terrible thing." Confusion creased the Friars normally serene countenance. He wanted to understand what she had done, what had lead her to betray the outlaws, to betray Robin, it made no sense to him. He had seen their love blossom gradually from mutual regard to a passionate need. He knew that they slept together but turned a blind eye knowing that their love was true and he couldn't fault them for that.

"What does it matter now," Marian said bitterly. "I tried to explain but no one would listen, and why should they. I've betrayed them all. I betrayed him and I love him more than anything." A tear rolled down her cheek followed by another, she struggled to speak.

"More than life itself,"she said.

Marian looked up at the Friar. "Please leave me Tuck, there's nothing you can do."

- - - - - -

Apologies if you found any grammatical/spelling errors, I'm looking for a beta, mail me if you're interested. Thanks.


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